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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? What other skills do you think it is important to be taught in schools?

#believe #children #speeches #presentations #school #skills #schools
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There is a belief that students should be taught orating and presentation in educational institutes.
Activities
such
 as public speaking bring out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence in the kids which is important for
overall
 development. Apart from these
skills
 schools should
also
 nurture talents like Drama and sports in the students. Extra-circular
activities
 like debate,extempore,speeches and
presentation
Fix the agreement mistake
presentations
show examples
 should be given the highest priority as
this
 helps school children
in gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 high-level confidence. These
activities
also
 equip the student for important future roles
such
 as politics, public services etc. Taking the example of famous personalities, each and every public figure
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 in common great presenting
skills
 that have the power to move the masses. Even if one is a great innovator, he/she needs to be good at showmanship to bring out the best ideas.
Furthermore
,
skills
 like drama and sports are
also
 equivalent to other personality-developing
skills
. Drama and sportsmanship both help bring out leadership qualities and other positive traits in students. For ,example studies conducted by the University of Western Sydney, schools that have a wide range of skilful
activities
 had seen better levels of success in its alumnus. A good educational establishment uses a wide range of
activities
 to bring out the best in the wards and help them reach heights. In conclusion, a famous politician was asked how can you make
this
 society a better place. His response was "
give
Capitalize word
Give
show examples
 me an education and 30 years and I shall build the society
however
 one wants." The emphasis was education with skilful
activities
 will make the world a better living place for everyone.
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task response
Improvement needed in addressing all parts of the task question in a clear and relevant manner.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates some coherency, but there is room for improvement in the introduction and conclusion sections.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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