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Band 3.5

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world what do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#homelessness #cities #world #measures
These days,
homelessness
 is one of the most serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 not only in my country but
also
Change preposition
in other
show examples
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
. It
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
 affect
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
populations
Change noun form
populations'
population's
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. According to that, it has lots of solutions. In
this
 essay, it will be considered about it with examples. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people prefer to live in
renting
Change the form of the verb
rented
show examples
 accommodation because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that it is cheaper than
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 accommodation.
That is
 why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
homelessness
 of number is increasing in society.
In addition
, due to the low salary of workers, many people can not buy their own house.
For example
, my
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
 bought
bought
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 house
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 credit
however
 she could not pay his credit because his salary
low
Add a missing verb
was low
show examples
. So, she was forced to sell
own
Correct pronoun usage
her own
show examples
 things. The main solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem,
if
Add a missing verb
is if
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
employer's
Correct article usage
the employer's
show examples
 salary after that, decries
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of
homelessness
.
On the other hand
, some people are separated from their homes because of their bad
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
show examples
 because they may not get along with each other.
Besides
, the government should help and provide money for poor and
homelessness
Replace the word
homeless
show examples
 populations.
Also
, it should control them. If society provides affordable housing to poor populations,
homelessness
 of level may be declining. In conclusion, an increasing amount of homeless individuals is of significant importance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the government.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society should put its best foot forward to curb the issue.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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