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Band 2

People should follow the customs and tradition when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #tradition #country
These 2 pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the online sales for electronics and appliance, food and beverage, home furnishings and video games. Generally, it is readily apparent that in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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,
electronic
Replace the word
electronics
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 always be the backbone of retail sectors in Canada with the biggest contributor based on the pie charts. Looking at the detail, start with the largest portion of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 pie chart in 2005 which is
electronic
Replace the word
electronics
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 &
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
 accounted for 35% and slightly decrease in 2010 with 30%.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
show examples
 things happen for the home furnishings sector
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
drop
Change the verb form
drops
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 dramatically in 5
years
Change noun form
years'
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 time from one quarter to less than a fifth.
On the other hand
, 2 other sectors
Change the verb form
remain
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Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
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 in steady increments.
Food
Correct article usage
The food
show examples
 and beverage figure rose sharply from 22% to 32% and become the largest sales in 2010 but still can not bear the electronics and
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
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 in 2005.
Moreover
, video games
also
 increase significantly from just under
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 in 2005 to slightly less than a quarter in 2010.
Submitted by matlbert20 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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