IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
There
is
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are
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people
Use synonyms
 which
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believe
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belive
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believe
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 that modern technology
make
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makes
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people
Use synonyms
 less sociable, but
in
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on
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 the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is making consumers more sociable . In fact, according to my subjective
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 both
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statement
statment
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statements
 is true.
Body · 1
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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people
Use synonyms
 which keen on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computer games spend huge time on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. They can
loose
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lose
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 connection to reality. I heard some kind of
reserching
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researching
 which tells about
rising
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the rising
show examples
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addiction
addition
adiction
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addiction
 to computer
game
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games
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 too times
at
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apply
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last
Linking Words
too
Replace the word
to
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 year. The
psihologist
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psychologist
recomend
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recommend
use
Wrong verb form
using
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computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
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 for
intertaining
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entertaining
 only for 1
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hour
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our
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hour
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 per
on
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apply
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day,
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Otherwise
Atherwise
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Otherwise
 it can
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affect
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effect
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affect
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 your ability to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 or
sociale
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social
behavier
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behaviour
 .
Body · 2
In
Add a comma
,compere
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compere
Correct your spelling
compare
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social nets like
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 can connect
people
Use synonyms
 from all over the
Correct your spelling
world
mould
wound
wourld
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world
.
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They
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Thay
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They
show examples
 can share with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 foto or video content, make friends from other countries, and rise social skills.
Conclusion
So we can say
the
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apply
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both statement are true. But the way we use modern
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technology
techology
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technology
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significantly
significfly
Add a missing verb
is significfly
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importent
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important
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 every drug can cure or kill , it
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depends
depens
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depends
 on
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quantity
quontety
Correct your spelling
quantity
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
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