Study show that criminals have a low level of education. For this reason some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or diagree?

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In recent decades, numerous researchers have argued that
criminals
need to be educated while they are in the
prison
to prepare for the time when they come out to society. Indeed,
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
my mind, enhancing the level of
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
system in the
prison
is significantly critical to
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals from getting crimes. In
this
essay, I would like to show
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how researchers support
this
view.
Firstly
, US International
Crime
Bureau has researched
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how
education
systems affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prisoners in regard to the percentage of recurrence of lawlessness. They found that the regular and repeated learning process to adapt
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in the
prison
clearly makes the
criminals
find a job or career for their own life outside the
prison
. Since
this
provides
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better understanding of social activities and how the world has changed, most of the prisoners tend to keep economic activities after they leave
prison
.
In addition
to
this
, the reason why the
criminals
took illegal actions
such
as murder and house or bank robbery was they didn't realise
that is
an actual
crime
. The Australian police department showed that
criminals
have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
to commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
because of a lack of
education
.
Such
as drugs or unlawful injections used to happen in places which don't have schools or academic institutions around.
Therefore
, the department has claimed that providing
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
programs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confinement will improve and increase the quality of their outside-jail life. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that governments need to offer a proper
education
program for
criminals
to fit in a workplace or society.
Study
Fix the agreement mistake
Studies
show examples
show that
criminals
have a low level of
education
. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
some people believe that the best way to reduce
crime
is to educate people in
prison
, so they can get a job when they leave
prison
. Do you agree or
Correct your spelling
disagree
diagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
?
Submitted by mix5777 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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