Study show that criminals have a low level of education. For this reason some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or diagree?

#study #show #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job #diagree

In recent decades, numerous researchers have argued that

criminals

need to be educated while they are in the

prison

to prepare for the time when they come out to society. Indeed,

Change preposition

show examples

my mind, enhancing the level of

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system in the

prison

is significantly critical to

protect

Wrong verb form

protecting

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals from getting crimes. In

this

essay, I would like to show

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how researchers support

this

view.

Firstly

, US International

Crime

Bureau has researched

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how

education

systems affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

prisoners in regard to the percentage of recurrence of lawlessness. They found that the regular and repeated learning process to adapt

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society in the

prison

clearly makes the

criminals

find a job or career for their own life outside the

prison

. Since

this

provides

the

Correct article usage

show examples

better understanding of social activities and how the world has changed, most of the prisoners tend to keep economic activities after they leave

prison

In addition

this

, the reason why the

criminals

took illegal actions

such

as murder and house or bank robbery was they didn't realise

that is

an actual

crime

. The Australian police department showed that

criminals

have

tendency

Add an article

a tendency

the tendency

show examples

to commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

because of a lack of

education

Such

as drugs or unlawful injections used to happen in places which don't have schools or academic institutions around.

Therefore

, the department has claimed that providing

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

programs in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

confinement will improve and increase the quality of their outside-jail life. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that governments need to offer a proper

education

program for

criminals

to fit in a workplace or society.

Study

Fix the agreement mistake

Studies

show examples

show that

criminals

have a low level of

education

. For

this

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

some people believe that the best way to reduce

crime

is to educate people in

prison

, so they can get a job when they leave

prison

. Do you agree or

Correct your spelling

disagree

diagree

Correct your spelling

disagree

Submitted by mix5777 on Fri Dec 02 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Study show that criminals have a low level of education. For this reason some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or diagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Some people prefer full-time jobs because they offer stability. Other people prefer casual jobs because of the freedom they offer. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?