Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the era of cutting-edge technology, where people's lives are so much driven by applied science, improvement in the quality of living and

life

expectancy of common folks are something which cannot be ignored. Owing to

this

, we are expected to find more elders around us than youngsters in

near

Correct article usage

the near

show examples

future.

This

essay will analyze both the benefits and the drawbacks of

this

scenario till my conclusion is reached.

To begin

with, the most important advantage of modern medicine is the enhancement in healthcare facilities which ultimately increases the

life

span of people, especially middle-aged and older.

For instance

, in the

past

Add a comma

past,

show examples

there was no cure for breast cancer and many women used to die of it even in their

40's

Correct your spelling

40s

50's

Correct your spelling

50s

however

, with the advent of better diagnostic measures and treatments, its cure was found and many ladies can live a normal

life

again.

Therefore

, developments in the medical field gave new lives to plenty of women from all around the globe.

On the contrary

, there is only one disadvantage that I see in providing splendid health-related facilities to too many old folks, which is that it may result in an increase in their population and eventually innumerable dependent adults in society.

For example

, they may outnumber teenagers and young adults which can cause an imbalance in the quality of the population and distribution of resources.

Hence

, society will have a bunch of old citizens everywhere living their lives depending on their young family members and even the state.

To conclude

, advanced medicine has done a tremendous job in improving the duration of

life

however

, society does not need old and feeble men and women to keep it moving, rather

young

Capitalize word

Young

show examples

enthusiastic folks are required

for building

Change preposition

to build

show examples

a good community. In my opinion, modern medicine has a great many advantages which will always outweigh its disadvantages.

Submitted by anniezafar3 on Fri Dec 02 2022

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task response

It is important to offer a balanced argument by addressing both advantages and disadvantages of the given statement. The essay adequately covers both the advantages and disadvantages but lacks a clear stance on which outweighs the other.

coherence and cohesion

The coherence and cohesion in the essay are satisfactory. However, the essay could benefit from more explicit signposting, such as the use of transition words and phrases, to guide the reader through the logical structure of the essay. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively tied to the main body of the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

longevity
geriatric population
intergenerational
volunteering
medical advancements
economic contribution
cultural perspective
healthcare expenditures
age-friendly
ageism
public policies
demographic shifts
economic stability

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Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education, and that governments should make it free for students, no matter what financial bike round they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

hese days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. however ,some of the method used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities to what extent do you you agree or disagree?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?