Young people spend less of their free time with their family nowadays. What are the reasons for this? Are there more negative or positive sides to it?

The youth of today
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more choice and freedom than ever before. When they are not working or studying, many of them see less of their
families
than they used to. In my view, there are very few advantages to
this
development, some causes of which I will explore in
this
essay.
To begin
with, there are a number of reasons teenagers and those in their twenties are with their
families
less during their leisure
time
, the main one being the need for them to
work
. A good example of
this
is in Indonesia where studies have shown that an increase in the cost of living has forced parents to ask their children who are still at school to
work
in the evenings and on Sundays and persuade those already
Change preposition
at
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in
Change preposition
at
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work
to do overtime or
work
two jobs.
Although
this
brings in much-needed funds, it comes at a huge cost, depriving
families
of important
time
to relax and spend
time
together and causing stress and ill health through overwork and lack of sleep.
Families
these days are
also
unable to enjoy each other’s company as they used to because young people are under increasing pressure. They are compelled to study and train in their spare
time
in the hope of securing a place at the best university or College or, if already in
work
, develop
further
skills to ensure they keep their positions and are favourably considered for promotion.
This
pressure to succeed in studies and
work
is huge as demonstrated by research by the London School of Economics, which revealed a huge increase in hours worked in
an unpaid internship positions
Correct the article-noun agreement
an unpaid internship position
unpaid internship positions
show examples
both for those still students and for young graduates hoping to persuade a company to employ them. Again, the loss of precious
time
with
families
cannot compensate for the advantages which ensue
although
promotion may be achieved or jobs secured by
this
practice. In conclusion, once that
time
with family has passed it cannot be regained. Clearly, whatever positives there are for young people from increased income or better job opportunities they cannot outweigh the negative impacts of spending less
time
with their
families
.
Submitted by drbismamalik on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • streaming movies
  • browsing social media
  • playing video games
  • digital entertainment
  • active pursuits
  • resurgence of interest
  • fitness trends
  • outdoor adventures
  • group sports
  • perception of time
  • connectivity requirements
  • passive activities
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