Many aldults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is observed that a considerable proportion of

adults

Use synonyms

in present-day society are inclined to spend their leisure

time

Use synonyms

playing video

games

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

phenomenon can be attributed to several factors, and I believe that it is

overall

Linking Words

an unwelcome development. There are two key drivers behind the popularity of computer

games

Use synonyms

among

adults

Use synonyms

. Chief of these is that those

games

Use synonyms

are generally considered an effortless source of entertainment. Given that most

adults

Use synonyms

have to work long hours, they often lack the

time

Use synonyms

and physical strength to pursue active pastimes like biking or playing sports,

Therefore

Linking Words

, many workers

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

to seek entertainment from video

games

Use synonyms

because they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

play anytime and

required

Wrong verb form

require

show examples

little to no effort from the players. Added to

this

Linking Words

is the fact that many

games

Use synonyms

are catered to

adults

Use synonyms

and contain various fascinating features to attract players.

For instance

Linking Words

, Grand Theft Auto is an action game which is popular among people for its thrilling gameplay, which includes a wide variety of stimulating activities like shooting and racing.

While

Linking Words

I acknowledge that video

games

Use synonyms

can help

adults

Use synonyms

unwind after stressful work hours, I would argue that

this

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trend can bring in its wake many problems.

To begin

Linking Words

with, people who spend excessive

time

Use synonyms

playing virtual

games

Use synonyms

may easily become addicted to them. These game addicts may sit in front of their computers for hours and refuse to partake in outdoor activities.

This

Linking Words

may lead to a sedentary lifestyle,

along with

Linking Words

various health issues

such

Linking Words

as obesity and

lacking

Wrong verb form

a lack of

show examples

concentration.

In addition

Linking Words

, some people may give up quality

time

Use synonyms

with their families and friends just to focus on playing

games

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

can sever their personal relationships and damage their social skills,

thus

Linking Words

potentially causing them to develop mental health illnesses. In summary, many

adults

Use synonyms

enjoy playing computer

games

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their easiness and appealing aspects, and it is my conviction that

this

Linking Words

trend is fundamentally negative

due to

Linking Words

the adverse effects it can bring about to some individual's lives.

nguyenbuiminhu

Dec 4, 2022

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure is good, but some paragraphs could benefit from clearer transitions between points.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their purposes effectively.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well supported with relevant examples and details.

task achievement

The response provides a clear and complete answer to all parts of the task.

task achievement

The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas and arguments.

task achievement

The relevant examples and details provided effectively support the writer's position.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Many aldults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Television is a tool that can be used to learn. Therefore, children should be encouraged to watch it regularly at home and school. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that sports is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss these opposing views and give your own opinion.

You found a problem with the item which you bought it online. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter, you should: •describe the item •explain what the issue is •suggest what you expect the manager to do

in some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. it is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and any include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience