IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Topic: a great city should not be confounded with a populous one. Discuss the above statement and give your own opinion

#topic #city
I think that
this
 topic is very impotent for me
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
abroad
Correct article usage
the abroad
show examples
degree
 is my point. Now I am considering studying’s advantages and disadvantages in
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
 city and abroad. I am starting with examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my life. Recently I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
finished
the
Change the word
my
show examples
first
 high
degree
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 of civil engineering in my hometown, Moscow. When I was younger I was thinking that studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Moscow’s university is
real
Replace the word
really
show examples
 main because I was thinking that it has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 very good opportunity for
future
Correct pronoun usage
my future
show examples
 life. But one year ago I started to guess, that I need more for
me
Correct pronoun usage
myself
show examples
. I had seen that
degree
 in Moscow
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 for me. Maybe it
because
Add a missing verb
was because
show examples
 I made a mistake when I was choosing
profession
Correct article usage
a profession
show examples
 and university. What about now? My concern
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 are showing me. That if you have
abroad
Correct article usage
a abroad
show examples
degree
 you have a lot of opportunities for a finding a good
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. So, I decided that I want
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
 in Germany. And I am taking
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
degree
 in management in engineering. Now we are considering
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of different degrees. If you want to be near your hometown, where your parents and friends live, you can choose
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
 in
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
 city, but you can be upset. It depends
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 where you live.
For example
, if you live in Germany
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
fir
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 you it can be better. What about
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 You need to change your full life. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I want to say that
all
Correct pronoun usage
it all
show examples
 depend
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your
Correct your spelling
choice
choois
Correct your spelling
choice
 and you fir me better
studying
Change preposition
at studying
show examples
 abroad.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Confound
  • Populous
  • Cultural heritage
  • Urban design
  • Sustainability
  • Quality of life
  • Efficient governance
  • Overcrowding
  • Infrastructure
  • Urban sprawl
  • Economic growth
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Public services
  • Metropolis
  • Urban planning
  • Environmental footprint
  • Inclusivity
  • Civic amenities
  • Heritage conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: