IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Directors of organizations receive higher salaries than the ordinary worker, some people think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#directors #organizations #salaries #worker #people
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Directors
Use synonyms
 of organizations
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 more
compensations
Fix the agreement mistake
compensation
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 and money for their
work
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. It is supported by some
people
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 as it is the result of their hard
work
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, while some
people
Use synonyms
considers
Change the verb form
consider
show examples
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 unfair as it harms the equality of the organization. In my opinion, it is obviously necessary for
directors
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 to get paid more than ordinary
workers
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. For the
people
Use synonyms
 who
supports
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support
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
directors
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 spent more time on their career, so they have more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 and
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 than the other
workers
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. So, it is the result of
Use synonyms
directors'
Correct article usage
the directors'
show examples
 hard
work
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 to take the position.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
directors
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 must take more
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the decisions and directions they make. In
this
Linking Words
 point of view, they have to do more than what normal
workers
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 do at
work
Use synonyms
, so it is necessary for them to receive more salary. For the
people
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 who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
this
Linking Words
, it is thought that
directors
Use synonyms
 break the equality of the organization by receiving more salaries. They look for
Correct your spelling
equal
eqaul
Correct your spelling
equal
 culture and compensation for the organization.
Also
Linking Words
,
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
 normal
workers
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 spend more time doing actual
work
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 and it gets more intense sometimes. For these reasons, they insist
directors
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 should receive
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 or similar salaries
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
 normal
workers
Use synonyms
. From my point of view,
directors
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 obviously
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to receive
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 salary. From
experiences
Correct article usage
the experiences
show examples
 and know-how
directors
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 have, the future of the business could change. It's
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 responsibility for them to bear. So it must be compensated by money.
Also
Linking Words
, if they receive more money, it will become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motivation for other
workers
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 harder so that they can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great
director
Fix the agreement mistake
directors
show examples
some time
Replace the word
sometime
show examples
 in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, if
directors
Use synonyms
 get paid
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 other ordinary
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 and have more responsibilities, it is less likely to take
this
Linking Words
 position for
people
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. In conclusion, in
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
modern
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
 society, it is natural for
people
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 to receive better compensation according to their position and responsibility. So, even though there are some
Correct your spelling
controversial
controversies
controversials
Correct your spelling
controversies
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it's necessary for
directors
Use synonyms
 to get paid better than the other normal
workers
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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