In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the schools promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

#countries #food #restaurants #companies #money #schools #products #school #children #development

Along with the advancement of advertising, some restaurants and companies selling fast

food

sponsor

schools

for marketing

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

. There are certain merits as well as demerits about

this

type of advertisement regarding the

development

children

which I will delve into and present

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

following

Wrong verb form

follows

show examples

To begin

with, there are two obvious beneficial factors about

this

action influencing a child’s

development

when

schools

are funded with

money

by these sponsors, being material and educational impact. To clarify, funded

money

is often used for renovating and expanding

schools

’ facilities,

for example

, purchasing more books for the library or building a new

gymastics

Correct your spelling

gymnastics

block for

children

. By doing that, school

Correct your spelling

attendees

show examples

attenders

Correct your spelling

attendees

show examples

have access to additional

Correct your spelling

resources

resouces

Correct your spelling

resources

and facilities.

Moreover

, they can learn to be selective about what they buy, and develop

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

to manage

money

, being useful for their future life.

As a result

, they can learn to value

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Thus

this

type of covert advertising is positive for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

’s

development

, yet to a certain degree. When it comes to downsides of advertising fast

food

children

as the target, it may be exploitative and unethical,

also

a trend of a poor diet may occur. Despite a high quantity of salt and sugar, being harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

health, fast

food

is still preferable to

children

. Promoting

this

equalises encouraging a poor diet that may set schoolers up to be unhealthy adults which can be expensive for the state in the long run.

Besides

children

present a special group of customers that are easily influenced because they are not yet able to

Correct your spelling

criticise

critise

Correct your spelling

criticise

or form their own opinion,

additionally

, unable to

distinguise

Correct your spelling

distinguish

what is promotional and what is educational.

Consequently

, parents are aimed at through their

children

this

form of

adversiting

Correct your spelling

advertising

Hence

, the drawbacks are

also

worth

acknowledged

Wrong verb form

acknowledging

show examples

for

children

’s

development

. To conclude, it is

clearly

Replace the word

clear

show examples

that funding

schools

poses

Change the verb form

pose

show examples

some good points, being an extra financial source for new facilities,

however

, it is exploitative and unethical due to

children

’s underdeveloped skills of

critising

Correct your spelling

criticising

and distinguishing between

promotional

Add an article

the promotional

show examples

and educational meaning of advertising.

Also

, they are exposed to an unhealthy diet as fast

food

is directly promoted in

schools

Submitted by phamthanhquy93 on Sun Dec 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

360 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the schools promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjetcs that will be useful in the future such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?