In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the schools promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

#countries #food #restaurants #companies #money #schools #products #school #children #development

Along with the advancement of advertising, some restaurants and companies selling fast

food

sponsor

schools

for marketing

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

. There are certain merits as well as demerits about

this

type of advertisement regarding the

development

children

which I will delve into and present

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

following

Wrong verb form

follows

show examples

To begin

with, there are two obvious beneficial factors about

this

action influencing a child’s

development

when

schools

are funded with

money

by these sponsors, being material and educational impact. To clarify, funded

money

is often used for renovating and expanding

schools

’ facilities,

for example

, purchasing more books for the library or building a new

gymastics

Correct your spelling

gymnastics

block for

children

. By doing that, school

Correct your spelling

attendees

show examples

attenders

Correct your spelling

attendees

show examples

have access to additional

Correct your spelling

resources

resouces

Correct your spelling

resources

and facilities.

Moreover

, they can learn to be selective about what they buy, and develop

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

to manage

money

, being useful for their future life.

As a result

, they can learn to value

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Thus

this

type of covert advertising is positive for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

’s

development

, yet to a certain degree. When it comes to downsides of advertising fast

food

children

as the target, it may be exploitative and unethical,

also

a trend of a poor diet may occur. Despite a high quantity of salt and sugar, being harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

health, fast

food

is still preferable to

children

. Promoting

this

equalises encouraging a poor diet that may set schoolers up to be unhealthy adults which can be expensive for the state in the long run.

Besides

children

present a special group of customers that are easily influenced because they are not yet able to

Correct your spelling

criticise

critise

Correct your spelling

criticise

or form their own opinion,

additionally

, unable to

distinguise

Correct your spelling

distinguish

what is promotional and what is educational.

Consequently

, parents are aimed at through their

children

this

form of

adversiting

Correct your spelling

advertising

Hence

, the drawbacks are

also

worth

acknowledged

Wrong verb form

acknowledging

show examples

for

children

’s

development

. To conclude, it is

clearly

Replace the word

clear

show examples

that funding

schools

poses

Change the verb form

pose

show examples

some good points, being an extra financial source for new facilities,

however

, it is exploitative and unethical due to

children

’s underdeveloped skills of

critising

Correct your spelling

criticising

and distinguishing between

promotional

Add an article

the promotional

show examples

and educational meaning of advertising.

Also

, they are exposed to an unhealthy diet as fast

food

is directly promoted in

schools

Submitted by phamthanhquy93 on Sun Dec 04 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

360 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You need to take leave from work for over a month for personal reasons. Write a letter to your boss.In your letter : - Explain the reason for your leave and length of the leave you need. - Explain how you’ll keep up to date while you’re away. - Suggest how your work could be covered while you’re away
I am writing this letter to inform you that I am required to take leave from my work for more than one month. It is urgent for me as my father has been admitted to the hospital for his critical condition.
6.5
band
In most science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the numbers?
An increasing threat to school populations at the moment is an imbalance between males and females in scientific studies, which indicates that more male students than female ones are getting involved in scientific courses at university. This essay will exhibit some reasons for this circumstance and discuss several solutions to improve it.
4
band
Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these to aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views about how a country can be economically and environmentally flourish. While some believe that it would be impossible for the countries to be successful in terms of financial and environmental due to the inconsistency between these terms, I would argue with those who claim otherwise.
5.5
band
Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?
In the modern era, there is a huge debate about most people thinking that children should stay home and enjoy their lives until they are seven years old. However, others think that children should join school at an early stage. A large group of people think in its favour. While others have the opposite opinion. The following paragraphs shed light on my personal opinion with a suitable example.
6.5
band
With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating a debate over the evolution of communication technology. Some claim that this trend brings demerits for people. While the downside of this advancement is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of its counterpart.

In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the schools promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In most science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the numbers?

Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these to aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?