Some peop/e think it is no longer necessary /'or children fo go fo school because ffiey can do all their learning on//ne. Others gei/ev’e learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give yot/r opinion.

#peop #e #children #fo #school #ffiey #gei #ev’e #schools #yot #r

Technology makes virtual education possible for everyone, especially

children

all over the world.

This

affects the way

children

study, at

school

or at home. In my opinion, despite the versatility of the Internet,

school

is still vital. Studying at home is said to be better for both

children

and the community.

Firstly

, the

children

are guaranteed to be safe without walking to

school

alone or at night.

secondly

, a lot of money will be saved because they do not have to buy many studying materials, they can use them online.

Moreover

, the government can spend the money to develop the economy

instead

of building

Correct article usage

a campus

show examples

campus

Fix the agreement mistake

campuses

show examples

supporting

Correct word choice

and supporting

show examples

children

However

, it is undeniable that

school

is irreplaceable. The sentence “

school

is the

second

home” is still right nowadays.

school

is the environment for the

children

to develop themselves

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

physical and mental health, social skills,

relationships

Correct word choice

and relationships

show examples

For example

, a child who stays at home all day is not as active,

brisk

Correct word choice

and brisk

show examples

as the one who goes to

school

Furthermore

, online learners can not get enough sources from the Internet without the method of the teacher or the motivation from their peers. In conclusion, combining

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional and online classes is the best way for

children

to develop all of the skills they need and

school

will never be replaced.

Submitted by hoang.b.lam88 on Sun Dec 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some peop/e think it is no longer necessary /'or children fo go fo school because ffiey can do all their learning on//ne. Others gei/ev’e learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give yot/r opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweith the disadvantages?

Every country in the world has its own road rules, but many drivers don’t obey them. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Human activities have led negative effects on plant and animals all over the world. Some people think it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still some time to take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nature of the overall Engineering Project and my particular Work Area