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Writing Samples
Band 4

Because o f the busy pace o f modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.

It is a universal truth that today’s
children
Use synonyms
 are exposed less to
natural
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the natural
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world
Use synonyms
 because of the busy pace of modern life than
children
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 from past generations. From my standpoint,
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
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time
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 in
natural
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the natural
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world
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 is the best way possible to spend our
time
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 during
a
Correct article usage
the
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 day because
nature
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 can have impacts not only on our physical health
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 on
mental
Correct pronoun usage
our mental
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 health. In today’s life of an average child with school responsibilities, there is not much
time
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 in a day that
child
Correct article usage
a child
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 can spend surrounded by
nature
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. One of the main causes
children
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 do not spend as much
time
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 in
nature
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 as past generations did is
development
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the development
a development
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 of technologies
such
Linking Words
 as computers and video games. Because of that,
children
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 do not need to spend
time
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 outdoors to have fun with their friends in their free
time
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. Spending
time
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
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 and learning how it benefits human health can be educational, helpful and even fun for
children
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. It can teach them that fresh air, physical activity and exposure to sunlight can improve their physical condition and state of mind.
Also
Linking Words
, it is extremely important that
children
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 understand that no matter how busy they are during the day, they have to make
time
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 for
nature
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. Even though most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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 already know
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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 benefits of exposure to
natural
Add an article
the natural
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world
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, they still choose to stay indoors.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are not familiar with the natural
world
Use synonyms
 around them. Parents are partly responsible for that problem because they should explain the importance of exposure to
nature
Use synonyms
 to their
children
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. Understanding and appreciating
natural
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the natural
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world
Use synonyms
 around us should be a priority not only
to
Change preposition
for
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children
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 for adults
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 tend to live in a busy pace of modern life. In conclusion, the solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem of
children
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 preferring to stay indoors is to prioritize spending
time
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 outdoors and taking a moment
for appreciating
Change preposition
to appreciate
show examples
 the natural
world
Use synonyms
 around us.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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