Because o f the busy pace o f modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world.
It is a universal truth that today’s
children
are exposed less to natural
Add an article
the natural
world
because of the busy pace of modern life than children
from past generations. From my standpoint, to spend
Change the verb form
spending
time
in natural
Add an article
the natural
world
is the best way possible to spend our time
during a
day because Correct article usage
the
nature
can have impacts not only on our physical health,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
on mental
health. In today’s life of an average child with school responsibilities, there is not much Correct pronoun usage
our mental
time
in a day that child
can spend surrounded by Correct article usage
a child
nature
. One of the main causes children
do not spend as much time
in nature
as past generations did is development
of technologies Add an article
the development
a development
such
as computers and video games. Because of that, children
do not need to spend time
outdoors to have fun with their friends in their free time
. Spending time
in the
Correct article usage
apply
nature
and learning how it benefits human health can be educational, helpful and even fun for children
. It can teach them that fresh air, physical activity and exposure to sunlight can improve their physical condition and state of mind. Also
, it is extremely important that children
understand that no matter how busy they are during the day, they have to make time
for nature
. Even though most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
already know these
benefits of exposure to Correct determiner usage
the
natural
Add an article
the natural
world
, they still choose to stay indoors. Therefore
, they are not familiar with the natural world
around them. Parents are partly responsible for that problem because they should explain the importance of exposure to nature
to their children
. Understanding and appreciating natural
Add an article
the natural
world
around us should be a priority not only to
Change preposition
for
children
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
for adults that
tend to live in a busy pace of modern life. In conclusion, the solution to Correct pronoun usage
who
this
problem of children
preferring to stay indoors is to prioritize spending time
outdoors and taking a moment for appreciating
the natural Change preposition
to appreciate
world
around us.Submitted by nick.winsly on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite