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Band 5

Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#persons #countries
Nowadays environmental
problems
 are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual
countries
.
In other words
, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree? At the present time, environmental
issues
 have  changed
one
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the serious
problems
 not only for
one
 country but
also
 for all
countries
 and human beings. I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 view and think that environmental
problems
 cannot be only
one
country’s
issues
 and all nations need to solve
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
problems
 altogether.
First
 of all, I believe that having a union among the
countries
 to resolve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
problems
 may be
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
 more effective way.
In other words
, only if
one
 nation fight
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
problems
 like air pollution, contamination, drought and soil erosion,
this
country’s
 effort may be manky
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 only can be solved by
union
Add an article
the union
a union
show examples
 of
countries
.
For example
,
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
show examples
country’s
 government prohibited to smoke, using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars and anything which are making
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
dangerous
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our nature. But,
although
this
country’s
 too much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 to resolve some
problems
, they are not able to solve all of them.
Therefore
,
people
 and nations should try to stop the environmental troubles
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
like as
one
 body. 
Second
 of all,
People
 are not
managed
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
 to resolve the
problems
 which are badly
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
our ecosystem.
That is
 to say, only if some
people
 fight to reduce the environmental
problems
however
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 others not, after  these
issues
 may keep
continue
Change the verb form
continuing
show examples
 increases
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
pollution or other sorts of dangerous impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our environment.
For instance
, some
people
 may
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be environmentally friendly and
another types
Replace the adjective
another type
other types
show examples
 of
people
 can be unfriendly and they may throw away their own garbage
to
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on
show examples
 the land and
this
 can create some risky environmental
issues
.
Thus
, we mankind should hold the balance of environmental
problems
. To conclude, I strongly believe that fighting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the environmental
problems
 under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
 union can be
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 solution for our mankind.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • climate change
  • rising sea levels
  • extreme weather events
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecosystems
  • Convention on Biological Diversity
  • significant improvements
  • sovereignty
  • environmental policies
  • international collaboration
  • environmental degradation
  • shared responsibility
  • technological advances
  • innovative solutions
  • international cooperation
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