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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Accidents are common on roads. What are the causes of this problem? Can you speculate the effects of this phenomenon and how could the frequency of accidents be reduced?

#accidents #roads #effects #phenomenon #frequency
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The number of vehicles on roads
such
 as cars and buses has increased recently.
This
 has resulted in the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
accidents
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increasing day by day.
This
 essay will argue
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the causes and effects of
this
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
, and the solution way of
this
 situation. The primary reason why
accidents
 occur commonly is
unawareness
Correct article usage
the unawareness
show examples
 of
public
Correct article usage
the public
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. When
drivers
 don't pay necessary attention while driving a vehicle, the accident rate naturally starts to increase. To illustrate, driving licence
Correct your spelling
courses
sources
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
 can not give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sufficient education to candidate
drivers
, which can lead to them don't
understanding
Change the verb form
understand
show examples
 the importance of driving. To sum up, the most
Correct your spelling
significant
siginficant
Correct your spelling
significant
 cause of
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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 number of
accidents
 is that
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 can not determine how serious driving a vehicle
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
 There is a crucial effect of
this
 situation, which is monetary damages.
For example
, every year 35% of total produced vehicles can not use. The obvious reason
in
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, in this case,
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this
 case is
accidents
.
Thus
, companies
such
 as BMW, Mercedes and, Audi which are the most famous manufacturer of vehicles are
Correct your spelling
suffering
sufferring
Correct your spelling
suffering
 from
this
 incident. In brief, having common
accidents
 is not beneficial for
finance
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the finance
show examples
 of companies. Adjusting the regulation by the government as to how
drivers
 should drive is
one
 of the big solutions
of
Change preposition
to
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 reducing
frequency
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the frequency
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 of
accidents
. If there is no deterrent law in the country, having a high accident rate is
inevitable
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an inevitable
the inevitable
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 consequence.
Therefore
,
government
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the government
show examples
 should be regulating the laws which are not adequate to avoid
accidents
. To exemplify, after the adjustments in Turkey about traffic rules, the percentage of
accidents
 showed a sharp decrease in
one
 year. So the density of
accidents
 could be reduced thanks to new rules. In conclusion,
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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 quantity of
accidents
 is a vital issue. Unawareness of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 is
one
 of the causes and financial damage is
one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 downsides of
this
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
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. I strongly believe that there is
one
 way to overcome
this
 issue. The method is regulating new laws which are
deterrent
Fix the agreement mistake
deterrents
show examples
 for
drivers
.
Submitted by merttufan197 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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