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Band 4.5

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only. others however feel cell phone should be used mostly for work. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #cell #phones #phone #work
Some individuals think that mobile phones should be used for only their own purpose
while
 others argue that cellulars can be used mainly for their job. The aim of
this
 essay is to discuss both issues and provide my ideas. On the one hand, cell telephones are properly used for people's personal objectives.
To begin
 with, they usually use them for primary contact with the immediate family. To illustrate
this
, they know each other numbers and it is good for their internal communication.
Secondly
, some use phones in their leisure time to relax.
As a result
, they can play online games and make great connections with their friends.
Next,
using mobile telephones for duty
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 the break hour. The effect is workers have to work even their lunchtime.
Moreover
, any secret information can be leaked to offenders if
using
Wrong verb form
they use
show examples
 phones for duties
such
 as co-workers and hackers.
On the other hand
, cellulars are designed to
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 for many functions. To illustrate, employees can reach their supervisor whenever required for any assistance.
Then
, customers can directly call the company
for ordering
Change preposition
to order
show examples
 new products.
For example
,
instead
 of sending an e-mail and waiting for a response, calling to firm number
is
Verb problem
makes it
show examples
 easier to reach the right salesman.
ฺBecause
Correct your spelling
Because
 of that reason, it will be beneficial for the company's profits.
In addition
, the Covid-19 pandemic has been changing the perspective on how to work properly.
For instance
, people can work
hybrid
Correct your spelling
hybridly
 from anywhere in the world by using technology including instant messages, video calls, and online meetings.
Due to
 the fact that all mobiles always have those applications to support users.
To sum up
,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
although
, mobile telephones should be used for only individual purposes.
However
, I have slightly different perspectives, I believe that cellulars have more options to support people's jobs and can help them to be in a work-life balance stage.
Submitted by JuneyPat on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. Use transition words and cohesive devices to connect ideas.
task response
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