Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Several
people
have opinions that advanced
technology
can help them to avert and reduce the number of committing crimes. I cannot argue with
this
statement, because
technology
can help society monitor their surroundings every time and it can help someone catch the culprit easily.
To begin
with,
technology
is helping
people
to create a safe environment.
Technology
can make individuals monitor everything that happens in their environment everywhere and anytime. These features can happen because of a new invention that can connect us from anywhere.
For example
, scientists
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
found CCTV that can help anyone to monitor the condition in their neighbourhood.
However
,
this
kind of
technology
also
has a drawback because it relies on the internet which sometimes can become an obstacle if we are in a remote area, but be that as it
may
Add a comma
may,
show examples
this
problem can be overcome if we
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
a tower in a remote area.
Therefore
,
this
kind of
technology
is really helpful for controlling the situation in
people
's environment. The next thing is the new invention
also
can help someone to catch culprits without hard work. The latest inventions can help anyone to record anything that happens in the surrounding us. These things can happen because every scientist thinks that it is very crucial to have a
technology
that can help them record every incident.
For Instance
, the newest type of cars have a dashboard camera and GPS that connect to the police information data centre, so when a car is stolen the police can easily track the robbers and even they can have their faces.
Hence
,
this
kind of
technology
is very helpful for
people
In conclusion,
technology
is very crucial in
people
's lives these days, because it can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
monitor everything that happens surrounding them, and it can
also
help them to track the culprit if their belongings are missing.
This
thing can become the solution to overcome the increased crime rate on
this
day. In the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
we will be alive when we do not need to worry about anything.
Submitted by tryaw2014 on

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Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement to clearly set up and close the argument.
Task Response
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas, supported by relevant specific examples. However, some points lack clarity and need further development to fully address the task.
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