Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prevention #cure #country’s #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measure

There is a fact that

prevention

is more beneficial than cure. The

government

budget

should be allocated a high proportion

Change preposition

show examples

health

education

and

prevention

measure

Fix the agreement mistake

measures

show examples

rather than

treatment

. I agree with

this

view. If governments follow the

prevention

strategy, they can control the number of patients in hospitals.

This

strategy in turn leads to saving money from spending to cure

people

For example

, by teaching sanitation to children and adults

Change preposition

during

show examples

the pandemic period of

Corona virus

Correct your spelling

Coronavirus

show examples

and

then

vaccination, countries controlled the number of patients and prevent the accelerating death rate of

people

Also

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

people

are more productive than unhealthy ones, as they can bring value and income for themselves and the

government

too.

Therefore

, focusing on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prevention

economically

Correct quantifier usage

more economically

show examples

beneficial than curing sick

people

. In

Correct your spelling

spite

show examples

spit

Correct your spelling

spite

show examples

of the benefits of

this

strategy, depending on the

government

and its

budget

, the process of spending

budget

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

education

than

treatment

would be different. Some

government

Fix the agreement mistake

governments

show examples

are not capable enough for

this

programme and should spend equally the

budget

between these two sectors,

education

and

treatment

. Since these countries are poor and most of their population are suffering from some disease, nourishment, poor sanitation and different viruses, they should spend more to cure

people

. If they can pass

such

crisis

Correct article usage

a crisis

show examples

, the best suggestion for them is to spend more on

health

education

and

prevention

programmes. In conclusion, if governments spend more on training about

health

and increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

awareness, they will become successful in preventing

people

from diseases. Whereas they should spend more on

treatment

Add an article

the treatment

show examples

of their sick

people

Submitted by wenglish995 on Mon Dec 05 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Modern medical science has made it possible to combat many diseases. This is one reason that people are living longer lives now than they did in the past. Discuss the effects this might have on society.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all chops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or Disagree

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children’s health and social skills. Others say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?