IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #computer #telephone #job #home
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it's more and more common for people to
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 because they have their laptops and phones for
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon outweigh the advantages. One of the
disadvantage
Change to a plural noun
disadvantages
show examples
 is that it will be hard for people to get immersed
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
. There are so many things that can
distracted
Change the verb form
distract
show examples
 you in your
Use synonyms
home
Change the noun form
homes
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as your kids, the bed and sofa, the drinks and snacks.
Although
Linking Words
 phones
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the core tool , the biggest distraction is probably the phone itself. When I
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
, I can't help watching videos and news on the phone. Another item is that we are low efficient at
home
Use synonyms
 even we are working. We are likely to lose self-control at
home
Use synonyms
 since there's no pressure from other workers.
For example
Linking Words
, we
are not focus
Change the verb form
are not focused
are not focusing
show examples
 on our
work
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
, we think about when to have a rest and eat something. In comparison, we are more professional in the office and highly concentrated on our
work
Use synonyms
. But there are some advantages too. One of them is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the prospect of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 world. As we know, technology is developing so quickly that we can finish our
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 now. From now on, the Internet will surely play a more and more important role in our life, and so as the part of
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 we
done
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, it saves our time in the commute. Working at
home
Use synonyms
 means we don't have to meet the traffic jam on the way to
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and take business trips. Theoretically, we will have more free time and less pressure from the workload. All in all, working at
home
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a double-sided
work
Use synonyms
 mode. It reduced the commute time, meanwhile, the efficiency as well. In my opinion, those negatives outweigh the positives
Submitted by chengx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: