RESEARCH INDICATES THAT THE CHERACTERISTICS WE ARE BORN WITH HAVE MUCH MORE INFLUENCE ON YOUR PERSONALITY AND DEVELOPMENT THAN ANY EXPERIENCES WE MAY HAVE IN OUR LIFE. WHICH DO YOU CONSIDER TO BE THE MAJOR INFLUENCE?

Nowadays,
personality
and
development
are crucial to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
in
this
modern world.
Although
, research indicates that birth features are
basis
Add an article
the basis
show examples
of building
personality
in terms of outlook and character
development
more than any
experience
.
However
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
experience
plays a vital and prominent role. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why I disagree with the above statement.
To begin
, it is indeed true that, adopting is human natural
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, and it is common nowadays that every individual adopts to living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. People can learn multifold things from
another
Correct pronoun usage
one another
show examples
and
then
they have become to change themselves by
Add an article
an improved
show examples
improved
Replace the word
improving
show examples
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
show examples
.
For example
, if we could utilize the
experience
we gain from working or travelling abroad, we would be more mature and more
openminded
Correct your spelling
open-minded
show examples
.
In addition
, we would
also
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of their lifestyles and culture and eventually become more knowledgeable.
Secondly
, we may
also
become more self-independent than others if we live in a harsh environment when we were young.
For example
, in China, many children have to sacrifice their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
and come out to work since they were small. They
bare
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
proved to have the ability to make more mature decisions on their own in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research conducted in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
china between those who are affluent and those who are
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
in poverty.
Moreover
, people who face a lot of issues in their lives will have a detailed plan of what to do
next
.
For instance
, they will organize their expenditure well.
Therefore
, it is apparent that
experience
gains
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
from various fields in their
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
have a huge influence on one’s
personality
and
development
. Agglomerating all the above points elaborated, I would like to conclude that one can learn multifold things
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
and
that is
why
experience
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
personality
and
development
.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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