Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Crime
Add an article
The crime
A crime
show examples
scene is always considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the main problems in any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
However
Howerver
Correct your spelling
However
, people think that better education should replace prison to treat a criminal. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
the following essay. On the one hand, I admit that law offenders should be put in jail due to the terrible wrongdoings they have done for some
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
, punishing criminals has contributed to
release
Change the verb form
releasing
show examples
the pain of the victims since they have been negatively affected while they may not do anything wrong.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there will be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
mistrust or a lack of sympathy among residents if the wrongdoings are not punished properly. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, Le Van Luyen - a terrible robber and killer in Vietnam was believed to be kept in prison forever as he killed
Correct your spelling
almost
amongst
most
amost
Correct your spelling
almost
all people in the family for gold.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that educational
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
should be used
instead
Linking Words
of hard punishment due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
share of benefits for society.
First
Linking Words
of all, by exposing to education through books or lessons, criminals
then
Linking Words
have a chance for the sake of approaching to moral things which can have an optimistic influence on them. Indeed,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals are allowed to take that opportunity to think and live better. Afterwards, the community may have more good people than bad ones due to
this
Linking Words
ethical method of punishment. In conclusion, for many years,
prison
Add an article
the prison
show examples
has been seen as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
Correct your spelling
effective
efffective
Correct your spelling
effective
way in order to address the problem of crime, I
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that better education should be taken into consideration since it may have positive effects on society.
Submitted by raintran183 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
Look at other essays: