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Band 5

Some people say that now is a best time in the history to be living. what is your opinion about this? what other time in history would be interesting to living

#people #time #history
I believe
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
 century is a golden
time
 for living .
Correct your spelling
Although
Althogh
Correct your spelling
Although
 a few
people
 think
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of progressing in
technology
 has not been as positive as they expected and the quality of life has decreased but I do not agree with
this
 argument . I would like to mention some of the most
effectional
Correct your spelling
affectional
effectual
affectionate
 changes in recent decades.
First
 of all ,
technology
 is gradually
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 our world .
For example
 , in the past women had to
spent
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spend
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
householding in the kitchen but the progress in
technology
 is becoming easier than past
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now
people
 have a washing machine in their house
instead
 of they washed dishes by themselves.
Secondly
 , with the fast development of the internet and social application
people
 are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more in touch and
also
 they can do many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 online .
For example
 , in the past communicating was very hard for
people
 and they keep in contact
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
Add an article
the letter
show examples
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
 but now they call each other
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
mobilephone
Correct your spelling
mobile phone
mobile phones
 , send
Add an article
an email
show examples
email
Fix the agreement mistake
emails
show examples
 together
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
currently it is not unusual
they
Change preposition
for they
show examples
 can see each other via
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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.
finally
 ,
However
 , some
people
 believe they were healthier in the past because they ate homemade food
instead
 of
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 and
also
 they spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time
 with their family
instead
 of social application but I think things excess of anything is bad and it is not a good reason for
negavite
Correct your spelling
negative
 effects of
technology
 in our life. I would like to live in modern society if I were asked .
However
 , if I have to choose a period
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living , I may choose to live in Canada 30 years ago. I am really one of the fans of Micael Jackson and my dream was to learn
dance
Fix the infinitive
to dance
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 him and
also
 I would try my best to work with him . In condition, I consider now to be the greatest
time
 for us to live.
Also
 if possible, I would like to spend my life with Micael Jackson.
Submitted by Nedjoo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented
  • prosperity
  • technological advancements
  • global connectivity
  • longevity
  • opportunities
  • self-expression
  • renaissance
  • exploration
  • industrial revolution
  • roaring twenties
  • unparalleled
  • groundbreaking
  • transformative
  • revolutionary
  • epoch-making
  • flourished
  • transcended
  • innovations
  • distinguished
  • renaissance artists
  • explorers
  • innovative entrepreneurs
  • exhilarating
  • era
  • unforgettable
  • boom
  • vibrant
  • exuberant
  • transformed
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