IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pay for them. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#countries #students #college #university #fees #government
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often said that in certain countries
students
Use synonyms
 pay tuition
fees
Use synonyms
 from their college or university.
on the contrary
Linking Words
, in some countries, the cost of education is paid by the
government
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 author believes that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. In the following essay, these aspects are about to be debated as well. On the one hand, when
students
Use synonyms
 pay for their education, the
government
Use synonyms
 funding would be spent in more pressing areas and wisely
such
Linking Words
 as health care, air pollution and poverty.
For instance
Linking Words
, all universities in America acquire payments from
students
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the budget of the American
government
Use synonyms
 mostly is allocated to improving air quality which is a crucial issue for
this
Linking Words
 country.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 obstacle is about to be alleviated in the future.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 strategy could help the
government
Use synonyms
 to spend the funding more effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the cost of education for educators is considered prohibitive.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 cannot afford these expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they would be forced to leave college or university.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 incident, the rate of educated people in
society
Use synonyms
 would plummet which could have detrimental causes on our
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the annual tuition
fees
Use synonyms
 in public universities rocketed
last
Linking Words
 year.
According to
Linking Words
 various research programs, the number of specialists in our country declined sharply
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by making
students
Use synonyms
 pay their college or university
fees
Use synonyms
, the rate of well-educated people in
society
Use synonyms
 would decrease significantly. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 in some countries the
government
Use synonyms
 authorities are responsible for payments of tuition
fees
Use synonyms
, in others, educators have to pay the expenses all by themselves. I assume the cons of
this
Linking Words
 strategy are more remarkable than its pros since many
students
Use synonyms
 find these payments unaffordable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the long term,
society
Use synonyms
 would have fewer educated individuals.
Submitted by nazi.tbt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly and provide a clear stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices and logical progression of ideas. Try to vary your transition words and sentence structures for more coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: