In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time job while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a common belief that getting part-time jobs should be encouraged for their beneficial results . Others think of it as since it leads to among . In my opinion, the hardships that temporary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
are greater than the advantages considered beneficial. On the one hand, to be clear
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can be financially profitable and a great way to earn exposure which helps them cover the expensive
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
such
as water, and during academic age. Undergraduates
also
learn how jobs in the real or business world so that they are able to deal with
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in the near future. To illustrate
this
, a staff who worked in life as a customer services employee usually handle better than someone who has no experience before.
On the other hand
, combining working and studying can be distracting. They might neglect their schoolwork
due to
working in some places like cafeterias, and stores which take their generation. Some might end up with a packed schedule.
Hence
, they have to
double-up
Correct your spelling
double
show examples
the in order to keep things in place.
Moreover
, it can result in tiredness among enlistment against the overwhelming that they were unprepared for. In conclusion, temporary is a quick way to gain experience.
However
, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. In order to produce
while
studying, admission has to make sure they can manage their present .
Otherwise
, they will be distressed and burnt out.
Submitted by workwithmanh1989 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not effectively supported and the essay lacks a logical structure.
task achievement
The essay provides some relevant points but fails to fully respond to the task. It lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. Specific examples provided are not effectively connected to the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: