Many animals are becoming endangered due to the loss of their natural habitat through urban development and deforestation. Is it important to protect animals? How can we solve this problem?

#animals #loss #habitat #development #deforestation

Urbanization increasingly threatens many

animals

around the world. The falling of natural habitats of most

animals

due to

urban development and deforestation causing the extinction of their race. In

this

essay, It will

be discussed

Wrong verb form

discuss

show examples

the importance of protecting fauna and the ways of protecting them. To commence with, the preservation of

animals

is becoming one of the major requirements in

this

modern world with sustainable development because human beings, the flora and the fauna have a great connection with each other.

For example

, If we destroy natural forests to fulfil our requirements

such

as deforestation to expand agricultural land, construction of new roadways, the establishment of industrial zones, etc it causes us to lose the balance of biodiversity. I believe that

mother nature

Correct your spelling

Mother Nature

show examples

will not allow to live human beings only without the natural environment

as well as

wildlife.

Therefore

, it is mandatory to preserve all kinds of

animals

because each and every species plays a part

to balance

Change preposition

in balancing

show examples

the world.

On the other hand

, It is required to consider solving

this

matter

due

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to maintain the balance of organisms. There are lots of ways to fulfil human needs in a sustainable manner.

Firstly

, governments must strict the law to preserve the natural habitats of specific endangered

animals

Secondly

, the improvement projects are subjected to deep consideration and proper usage of new technologies.

such

as cultivating greenhouses

instead

of cleaning huge areas of forests, constructing motorways with bridges not to separate natural habitats, well planning on the town and residential with the usage of minimum lands, etc.

Lastly

, society has a great responsibility to support the preservation and it is only required to think by considering both fulfilling needs

as well as

ways of protection.

To conclude

, the preservation of

animals

is an essential requirement of evolution simultaneously and there are lots of obscure to overcome

this

matter.

Submitted by jds.sampath on Wed Dec 07 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the importance of protecting animals and suggests ways to solve the problem effectively. Ensure to provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure, but make sure to improve the organization of ideas in each paragraph. Consider using transition words to enhance coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many animals are becoming endangered due to the loss of their natural habitat through urban development and deforestation. Is it important to protect animals? How can we solve this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle this.

Living in a country where you must speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity ,improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy.