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Writing Samples
Band 7

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development
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In our up-to-date life, a
lot
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 of
individuals
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 utelize in the online websites and mobile phones to transport
cash
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 to soul mate, family members, and business, whether to
transfer
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money
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 to people on the
internet
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 is a positive and negative trend among the young and middle aged people. From my point of view, to move
cash
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 in smartphones is a positive development. There is no doubt that it is uncomplicated and confortable than other ways. As a matter of fact, a
lot
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 of humans have many opportunity in it.
For example
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: undeniably, a numerous students parents are able to in the phones to take
money
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 without a
lot
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 of problem because it is the one of the most best way to
transfer
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money
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 in the world.
In addition
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 to that, according to the statistics, many humans select
this
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 way because it does not spend much time. More preciesly it is very beneficial to busy
individuals
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 with study and work. To be sure, a
lot
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 of
individuals
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 use the
internet
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 or smartphone to
transfer
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cash
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 to friends, relatives and business dou to hackers rate is getting increase day by day, because to do
this
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 via mobile phones is not enough safety. Take as an example: according to the statistics: 80 per cent of crime is by the
internet
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.
In addition
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 to that, it maybe dangerous to
individuals
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 and their
cash
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. In final analysis, despite the fact that
transfer
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money
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 is a popular trend, it does a
lot
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 of help to
individuals
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, which save time, uncomplicated and convinient. For
this
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 reason, I am convicted that
transfer
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money
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 via the
internet
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 or smartphone is a positive development in general.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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