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Band 5.5

In many country average weight of the people increasing and fitness levels are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of problems and what measures could be taken solve them?

#country #weight #people #fitness #levels #measures
It is important to say that nowadays are increasingly overweight in young people because they use a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 games or watch tv,
this
 is winning a lifestyle in our present
society
. There are multiple problems and reasons for a scenario that I will explore in the following essay and I would like to discuss its causes and remedies to combat them.
Firstly
, there is an advance in technology where young people prefer to spend more
time
 indoors playing sports or connecting on platforms with friends.
In other words
, they don't want outdoors to sweat play or simply enjoy of sun.
Furthermore
,
this
 situation can develop a sedentary
society
 because many people spent
time
 in the office for a long
time
 in front of computers and
also
 a bad diet
such
 as junk food or simply don't have
time
 to eat.
For example
 , a person
Correct your spelling
doesn't
don't
doesn'tt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 have
time
 to eat and when
this
 person arrives at his house probably he will be tired and will have to order any food because has spent a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 hours in his office.
Secondly
,
Parents
also
 contribute to
raise
Change the verb form
raising
show examples
 that their
children
 are spending a lot of hours on computers, sports games and the internet because they are very busy and it has become essential for
parents
 to keep their
children
 the kids busy and don't bother them. Another problem with obesity,
society
 to
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
 use a card to use a bicycle or walk,
this
 has become a normal part of our lives. Exists various things can be done to combat
this
 problem in our
society
,
for instance
, advertising should be about good habits like Vegeta, bluefish and meat, and
also
 how
children
 like their outdoor exercise.
Parents
 should encourage their
children
 to play with other
children
 and they can learn them how is the benefit to be outside and restrict mobile and sports games. In conclusion, I believe that
Parents
 , schools and governments should work together to create a healthy future for
children
.
Submitted by rulalolo37 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • processed foods
  • high-calorie
  • fast food chains
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • balanced diet
  • economic factors
  • urbanization
  • green spaces
  • recreational areas
  • government initiatives
  • educational programs
  • accessibility
  • public awareness campaigns
  • subsidizing
  • nutritious foods
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