A recent newspaper article reported that a 14 years old boy who seriously destroyed his school got the punishment to clean Street instead of being sent to prison. Do you think this is right or do you think that such criminal should be sent to prison.

The 14 years old
boy
's example is one of the million in the world .
Firstly
as 14 years old is considered to be
Correct article usage
a
show examples
minor,there is a lot of cause to think about either parents or the school administration where the
boy
attended.It means that anywhere someone does huge mistakes in the way of a
boy
's education.In my ,opinion teenagers are under responsibility
firstly
their parents or their teachers.
Firstly
In my ,opinion it is better to do something good for society than to be taken to prison ,
besides
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
way outlaws
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
educated and do not go in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
it is more
Correct your spelling
beneficial
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for society or municipalities
Correct your spelling
to
ro
Correct your spelling
to
force the
boy
to clean
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
than
than
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
spend money to keep in prison,
therefore
in prison the
punish
Replace the word
punishment
show examples
can damage the future of young people. To conclude , I am more inclined to think that it is better to clean streets or give benefits to
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
or country than deform the boys' future.
Submitted by khnkoyansos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Restorative justice
  • Rehabilitation
  • Community service
  • Alternative punishment
  • Psychological impact
  • Emotional impact
  • Incarceration
  • Consequences of actions
  • Amends
  • Juvenile offenders
  • Severity of the crime
  • Non-violent crimes
  • Deterrent effect
  • Punitive measures
  • Reformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!