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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

A recent newspaper article reported that a 14 years old boy who seriously destroyed his school got the punishment to clean Street instead of being sent to prison. Do you think this is right or do you think that such criminal should be sent to prison.

#newspaper #article #years #boy #school #punishment #street #prison #right
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The 14 years old
boy
's example is one of the million in the world .
Firstly
 as 14 years old is considered to be
Correct article usage
a
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minor,there is a lot of cause to think about either parents or the school administration where the
boy
 attended.It means that anywhere someone does huge mistakes in the way of a
boy
's education.In my ,opinion teenagers are under responsibility
firstly
 their parents or their teachers.
Firstly
 In my ,opinion it is better to do something good for society than to be taken to prison ,
besides
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apply
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this
 way outlaws
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 educated and do not go in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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criminal
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
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.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
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 it is more
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beneficial
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for society or municipalities
Correct your spelling
to
ro
Correct your spelling
to
 force the
boy
 to clean
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
 than
than
Remove the redundancy
apply
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spend money to keep in prison,
therefore
 in prison the
punish
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punishment
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 can damage the future of young people. To conclude , I am more inclined to think that it is better to clean streets or give benefits to
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 or country than deform the boys' future.
Submitted by khnkoyansos on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Restorative justice
  • Rehabilitation
  • Community service
  • Alternative punishment
  • Psychological impact
  • Emotional impact
  • Incarceration
  • Consequences of actions
  • Amends
  • Juvenile offenders
  • Severity of the crime
  • Non-violent crimes
  • Deterrent effect
  • Punitive measures
  • Reformation
What to do next:
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