In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity (living a long time)? List some examples and reasons to support your answer.

#factors #longevity #time #list #support

These days, with the development of medicine and technology,the

life

expectancy

Add an article

a human

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

is longer than in the past. There are several reasons that contribute to the growth of

life

span. In

this

essay, I will propose some factors and give examples.

Firstly

, the main

factor

that increases the time

people

live is a healthy

lifestyle

. Some scientists proved that eating more healthy food and exercising at least three times a week could improve

immune

Add an article

the immune

show examples

system. A positive

lifestyle

not only helps

people

get into shape but

also

helps

people

prevent chronic diseases

such

as diabetes and heart illness. Take Japan as an example,

this

country has a huge number of elder

people

. The key

factor

related to

ageing

Add an article

the ageing

an ageing

show examples

population in Japan is their food and their habit of exercise.

Instead

of eating red meat like pig or beef, they consume seafood, salmon is a good example. It contains nutrients that have a positive effect in reducing cholesterol levels;

therefore

, it could

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

Japanese

Correct article usage

the Japanese

show examples

avoid high blood pressure.

Moreover

, mental health is an important

factor

that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a great effect on

life

expectancy

People

who have positive thinking or don't have to deal with any mental health problems are likely to live longer.

Secondly

, the development of medical treatment is a crucial

factor

that contributes to longevity. New types of equipment are invented to allow patients to take more chances in treatment so that

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

their

life

expectancy

For example

, because of the invention of insulin medicine, thousand of diabetics

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

preserved their

life

from illness. To sum up, a healthy

lifestyle

and model

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

are two main factors that affect longevity. Government should take responsibility for increasing

life

expectancy

by investing more money in advertising to encourage residents to have a positive

lifestyle

and

also

spend more money on national insurance.

Submitted by nguyengiangbk2018 on Thu Dec 08 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity (living a long time)? List some examples and reasons to support your answer.

Nowadays, people make new friends with the use of social networks and internet chat groups. Some of the people think this is good. other people thinks that face-to-face conversations is beneficial. discuss both sides.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. Other, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.