People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown from other areas. As a results, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantage of this tend outweigh the disadvantage?

#people #variety #food #areas #results #regions #advantage #tend

Thanks to developed transportation, many

foods

are exchanged and

people

enjoy various

foods

within their homeland. It may contribute

people

less consume

Wrong verb form

consuming

show examples

local

foods

. In my opinion, having

foods

regardless of origin could bring more benefits than negative aspects.

This

is because

people

could have meals in cheaper and more nutritional ways compared to the past.

Firstly

people

would buy many kinds of cheaper

foods

by importing inexpensive ingredients. The price of the specific food is different depending on the temperature or labour costs of each country.

Hence

, they can get the same kind of grocery, but at less cost.

Also

, providers might

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

in competitions to get more profits when the market grows bigger. They may want to attract consumers by providing good quality

foods

at reasonable prices. It means there are more chances that

people

could have competitive

foods

. In

this

context, eating a variety of meals might be advantageous to

people

Secondly

people

can access more nutritional

foods

rather than stick

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with their own traditional

foods

. Even though citizens of a nation get sufficient nutrition from their own ingredients, some countries might not have enough to provide nutrition to their

people

due to

temperature. In some areas, the temperature is so low or high that different kinds of

foods

cannot grow.

In other words

, not all countries can harvest a variety of

foods

with many ingredients.

Then

, they have limitations

to gain

Change preposition

in gaining

show examples

nutritional groceries except for importing them from other regions. In

this

context, I personally think that having more variety of

foods

can have more benefits than demerits.

This

is because it contributes

people

to having inexpensive and nutritional

foods

Submitted by erimkim on Thu Dec 08 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring a smooth flow of ideas.

task response

Focus on fully addressing the prompt by providing a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of consuming non-local food. Additionally, provide more specific examples to support your points and ensure that all ideas are clearly explained.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown from other areas. As a results, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantage of this tend outweigh the disadvantage?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do the advantafes od standardized testing outweigh the disavantages

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others; however, believed that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You borrowed something from your friend, later it got damaged. Write letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: •apology about the issue •tell how it got damaged •say you are going to fix this issue.

Limited money should be spend on computer equipment or good teachers. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

You have eaten at a restaurant and it was such a terrible experience that you have decided to inform the manager. In your letter:- - describe what happened - you want your money back.