Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. sugary products should be made more experience to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

Big portions of foods and drinks made in factories have

Correct article usage

apply

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remarkable

amounts

Correct the article-noun agreement

amount

show examples

of sugar. Sugar consumption leads to serious

problems

for human health. These types of products are essential to rise their

prices

to prevent high-level buying between

people

. I do not agree with

this

statement because could makes some

problems

. Increasing the

prices

is not the solution! Governments and officials can have better strategies for concerns.

Firstly

this

matter has economical harm to the food industry. If

prices

go up and

people

decide to buy less and factories' incomes dump increasingly, in ,consequence they explain their workers and employees and

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the end unemployment rate will rise in society. ,

,,,

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apply

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Secondly

it is not a reasonable way because after that

people

spend their money on

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

model of harmful food,

for example

: junk food and fried foods.

Also

this

method,

people

will be unsatisfied as the government make choice for their personal life and their personal privacy will be broken with

this

action. It is clear that these products have non-standard levels of sugar, but they should teach society about their health and the impacts of the ingredients they consume, for ,

Add an article

the

show examples

instance having stations with related experts in public places like parks will be a useful method. Education for children is key to the problem because if you teach children, they carry with them what they learned until they will be alive. Governments

also

provide budgets for programmes with taxes they receive from factories. Some may argue that it is necessary to increase the

prices

and protects society's health. They believe governments should make decisions for citizens' daily life and what they consume. In conclusion, I believe it is not a suitable way and the choice of what you eat is not related to anyone and it

also

has bad effects on the economy. In the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

end making numerous

problems

to solve other

problems

is not reasonable.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. sugary products should be made more experience to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that the experience children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinions.