Some people consider that school education should be concentrated on academic subjects, which would be helpful for their future careers, and subjects like music and sport are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is believed that to be prosperous in future careers, the

school

Use synonyms

should prioritize lessons on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

rather than

sports

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

. I am of the opinion that all

subjects

Use synonyms

matter, including

music

Use synonyms

and sport.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is important to achieve a balance between academics,

sports

Use synonyms

, and

music

Use synonyms

. Not only the

students

Use synonyms

will have wide knowledge, but the function of those

subjects

Use synonyms

support each other.

For instance

Linking Words

, understanding the complicated partiture in

music

Use synonyms

requires strong analysis in the brain,

as a result

Linking Words

, it can

also

Linking Words

be a practice for the brain in terms of critical thinking. Another reason is the

school

Use synonyms

should be able to accommodate

students

Use synonyms

who have talent in

sports

Use synonyms

and art.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the

school

Use synonyms

need to develop their talent so they can represent their

school

Use synonyms

, and might win a competition. Another sound argument is academic

subjects

Use synonyms

themselves will not be enough for

students

Use synonyms

to compete in global competitions.

This

Linking Words

means, learning art is good for developing their sense of creativity

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while being active in sport

also

Linking Words

play an important role to keep them healthy.

Additionally

Linking Words

, doing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular activities at

school

Use synonyms

is a good way to build healthy habits when they grow up. In conclusion,keeping the balance between academics,

sports

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

is the best way to develop a well-rounded human being who has wide knowledge and skill. Other than that, learning all those

subjects

Use synonyms

will create a good habit to prepare the

students

Use synonyms

facing the competitive career in the future.

fitri.antoniFri Dec 09 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

holistic education
soft skills
teamwork
discipline
time management
leadership
mental well-being
physical health
academic performance
creativity
innovative thinking
STEM fields
career opportunities
entertainment industry
sports industry
life balance
academic stress
burnout

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You recently attend a meeting at a hotel.when you returned home,you found you had left some papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel.In your letter Say where you think you left the papers Explain why they are so important Tell the manager what you want him/her to do
I am writing to you regarding the important papers I had left at the meeting venue which had
7
band
Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often said that rich countries have the responsibility of helping low-income countries during natural disasters. This essay agrees with this statement as they are capable and they have the moral duty of protecting humanity.
6.5
band
The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library's manager, in your letter include: -A brief introduction of yourself -Your experience and relevant skills. -Why you want the job
My name is Ruxshona.I am in the 9th grade ,I am fifteen years old I am studying English at a Bukhara school.I am interested in this subject and in the future, I want to become a translator or an English teacher.I saw the news of working in this library on TV when it was announced and I am writing about your place of work.
6
band
Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Artists are well supported by the government despite some individuals who feel this a misuse of money. Although many craft institutions are in need of this funding, I believe that public health facilities are in more need of this support.
6
band
In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In the present time,Parents pay other people to look after their children.Some people think that this is not a good thing to do.I agree with the people who think this is wrong.

Some people consider that school education should be concentrated on academic subjects, which would be helpful for their future careers, and subjects like music and sport are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

You recently attend a meeting at a hotel.when you returned home,you found you had left some papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel.In your letter Say where you think you left the papers Explain why they are so important Tell the manager what you want him/her to do

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library's manager, in your letter include: -A brief introduction of yourself -Your experience and relevant skills. -Why you want the job

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?