Some people consider that school education should be concentrated on academic subjects, which would be helpful for their future careers, and subjects like music and sport are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #education #subjects #future #careers #music #sport

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It is believed that to be prosperous in future careers, the

school

should prioritize lessons on academic

subjects

rather than

sports

and

music

. I am of the opinion that all

subjects

matter, including

music

and sport.

Firstly

, it is important to achieve a balance between academics,

sports

, and

music

. Not only the

students

will have wide knowledge, but the function of those

subjects

support each other.

For instance

, understanding the complicated partiture in

music

requires strong analysis in the brain,

as a result

, it can

also

be a practice for the brain in terms of critical thinking. Another reason is the

school

should be able to accommodate

students

who have talent in

sports

and art.

Furthermore

, the

school

need to develop their talent so they can represent their

school

, and might win a competition. Another sound argument is academic

subjects

themselves will not be enough for

students

to compete in global competitions.

This

means, learning art is good for developing their sense of creativity

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while being active in sport

also

play an important role to keep them healthy.

Additionally

, doing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular activities at

school

is a good way to build healthy habits when they grow up. In conclusion,keeping the balance between academics,

sports

and

music

is the best way to develop a well-rounded human being who has wide knowledge and skill. Other than that, learning all those

subjects

will create a good habit to prepare the

students

facing the competitive career in the future.

Submitted by fitri.antoni on Fri Dec 09 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic education
soft skills
teamwork
discipline
time management
leadership
mental well-being
physical health
academic performance
creativity
innovative thinking
STEM fields
career opportunities
entertainment industry
sports industry
life balance
academic stress
burnout

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Some people consider that school education should be concentrated on academic subjects, which would be helpful for their future careers, and subjects like music and sport are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes are recycled. They say that only way to increase recycling is a for government to make it legal requirement. To what Tex and do you think clause are needed to make people recycle more of their waste

Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people are not suitable for important position in the government while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on the positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

As computers translate quickly and accurately, learning foreign languages is a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.