Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #favourite #activities

Some

people

said

life threatening

Add a hyphen

life-threatening

show examples

sports

need to prohibit by the government, whereas others disagree with

this

statement because they believe that it should depend upon

people

which

sports

they want to play. Before presenting my view, I intend to explore both views in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with those

people

who have opinioned that dangerous

sports

should be restricted because of some reasons. The

first

and foremost reason is that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters get

influence

Wrong verb form

influenced

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

others who have more knowledge and experience about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dangerous

sports

for instance

, car racing and rock climbing which they try to do by themselves without any guidance or mentors.

As a result

less

Change preposition

with less

show examples

experience in

this

game they faced death in most of the cases because they put themselves

Change preposition

show examples

risk while playing

this

kind of harmful

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

. To explain

this

, according to one survey

Change preposition

show examples

Timeline newspaper

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

held in Australia,

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

said that maximum

cases

Correct quantifier usage

number of cases

show examples

of accidents happened due to playing life-threatening games.

On the other hand

, it is the choice of

people

what they want to do. Dangerous

sports

give chance to individuals for facing challenges things which is helpful for them to overcome their fear and make them stronger.

Furthermore

, because of a hectic lifestyle,

people

feel stressed

therefore

they want some break from their busy schedule to get some relaxation. Due to

this

, the majority of

people

play these games for entertainment purposes and

Fix the infinitive

to do

show examples

adventurous things in life. In conclusion, I take the view that

sports

activities are

the

Correct article usage

show examples

source of amusement which will help

people

to get relief from stress and problem.

Thus

, it is totally dependent upon the

people

who want to play but they should have proper knowledge and guidelines about the game to overcome the number of accidents.

Submitted by charanjeetkaur4413 on Fri Dec 09 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a letter to a friend telling him about an interesting website you found. Tell your friend – How you found it?How it can help?How you use it?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there to this problem?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extend do you agree?

You are moving out of your rental apartment. Write a letter to your neighbour to say goodbye. In your letter say 1. when and where do you move? 2. why do you move out? 3. how do you feel about it?