Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Many
museums
require fees for entry,
while
others are free. I believe the advantages of charging
people
for admission to
museums
outweigh the disadvantages. Because without an entry
fee
Add a comma
fee,
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they would not earn profit for the maintenance of
museums
. On the one hand, admission fees allow the
museums
to protect the collections of
museums
. By collecting the revenue, it can be used for the preservation of the museum.
This
income can
also
be used for the renovation of the
museums
. Mainly these
museums
are funded by government sectors,
Correct pronoun usage
which
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this
can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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shortage of money. So,
by
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apply
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charging admission fees could be beneficial for the payment of
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
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of employees
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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who are working there.
For instance
,
while
comparing many
museums
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those that
show examples
collect entry
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
are far more maintained and cleaner than those
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
do not charge
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
.
On the other hand
, allowing entrance
fee
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fees
show examples
will demotivate
people
who are from low-income
background
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backgrounds
show examples
.
Subsequently
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Subsequently,
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they cannot be able to access free knowledge and information about cultural heritage.
However
, most of the
people
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
not there to treasure the exhibits but came to experience the free services.
Furthermore
, crowded
people
can be
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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