IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry, Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advance #agriculture #people #world #case
Wold is moving faster than earlier, in every sector since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology reaches
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
farmers
 as well, in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
 century many
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of equipment
show examples
equipment
Change to a plural noun
equipments
show examples
 has been used by
farmer
 still some area of the country people facing a serious issue of Hunger. at the
Correct your spelling
beginning
beganning
Add a comma
,beganning
show examples
 if we see
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 populated countries like
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 and china they are the largest
production
Replace the word
producer
show examples
 in cultivating rice and sugar cane, even those countries facing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hunger issues, since the
proporation
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
farmers
vurses
Correct your spelling
verses
versus
 eaters is not
balancing
Wrong verb form
balanced
show examples
 among the all
nations
Change noun form
nation's
nations'
show examples
 population.
Farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
Farmers
show examples
 are doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farming with their own
tradinational
Correct your spelling
traditional
 method, they have not really accepted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern farming and so on,
also
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 issues are rectified
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 lots of private sector farming agencies.
also
 now the
next
 generation of
Add an article
a farmer
show examples
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 becoming independent job holders, some of those improvising the land and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 cultivation by getting the
advvancement
Correct your spelling
advancement
advancements
 in farming like education in agriculture. in spite of all hunger needs to be balanced and
satify
Correct your spelling
satisfy
 by the
mojor
Correct your spelling
major
 group of
farmers
. in
this
 part we would discuss the solution
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 causes,
farmers
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 monthly training program by the government,
also
adoption
Add an article
the adoption
show examples
 of new technology by young
farmers
. we all should try to have some
tarrace
Correct your spelling
terrace
 farming
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our own. again there is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 big
challege
Correct your spelling
challenge
 for
Add an article
the farmer
a farmer
show examples
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 of water, lots of
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
 are dry in south
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
 because of no water it goes under non-cultivating. in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the countries
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 just focus on
commericals
Correct your spelling
commercials
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
show examples
 zone. we need a balance solution all
thogether
Correct your spelling
together
 it would be a joint mission for
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
Submitted by sonal.shirke111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: