IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governtments should invest funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governtments #funds #services
In the present world, different investment is constantly on the rise. Even
government
 has its focus on different strategies in putting their
money
 either
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 arts, music and
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 which turns to nothing while funds that
Add a missing verb
are alotted
show examples
alotted
Correct your spelling
allotted
 properly in public services
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a great outcome. Analysing the value of education as well as
Add an article
the
show examples
development of national
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 will prove that I am agreeing with
this
 notion.
Firstly
, allocating
money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 arts, music and theatre is totally a waste since people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the
first
 line of physiologic needs
such
 as food and shelter.
For example
, tons of cultural
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 which
caters
Correct subject-verb agreement
cater
show examples
amusement
Change preposition
to amusement
show examples
gone
Add a missing verb
have gone
show examples
 nothing due to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 individuals patronizing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 the bureaucracy
sufferred
Correct your spelling
suffered
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
bancruptcy
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
.
Secondly
, once
government
 will allocate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amount of
money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 building Universities; it would be a great form of assistance to individuals below the poverty line.
For instance
, in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 where Education
is highly prioritize
Change the verb form
is highly prioritized
show examples
 has the capacity of building humungous schools and
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
 so that
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 could obtain and access
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 ultimate profession that they are dreaming of.
Consequently
, the country of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
labelled
Add a missing verb
is labelled
show examples
 number one in producing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high caliber
Add a hyphen
high-caliber
show examples
 and successful nurses and physicians.
Thirdly
, when it comes to
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 national
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
;
Government
 must focus and attain a goal to improve every
highways
Change to a singular noun
highway
show examples
 specifically in
far flung
Add a hyphen
far-flung
show examples
 areas which primarily lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
access to any assistance
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they badly needed especially after
devastation
Add an article
the devastation
show examples
 of calamities. Like, after the super typhoon that hits the central region of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in the year 2013, many
life
 vanished for the reason that
government
 aid and assistance went
delay
Wrong verb form
delayed
show examples
 because of road inaccessibility.
Hence
, all forms of
life
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 taken in a snap of
second
 gone nothing. In summary, public services
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 crucial and
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 the continuity of
life
 rather than putting the tantamount
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 different forms of arts and music.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end,
life
 matters most compare to the material things that
Add a missing verb
are errected
show examples
errected
Correct your spelling
erected
 in our surroundings.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

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