In many countries ,teenagers are encouraged to do part time jobs. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part time jobs ?

Part-
time
jobs
have been widespread among
teenagers
in many countries. While
students
are studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university, they
also
work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part-
time
jobs
. Working and allocating
time
in part-
time
jobs
have several advantages,
whereas
Correct word choice
but
show examples
there are
also
drawbacks. In my opinion, I strongly believe that its benefits outweigh the disadvantages. To commence with,
students
may have economical difficulties in their university years. They want to go to cafes, museums, parties
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and do other social activities. Owing to the fact that
teenagers
are able to do these events, they have enough money and economical welfare.
Therefore
, they tend to work
jobs
that do not take a long
time
and do not damage
students
' health. Thanks to these working areas,
students
can gain money and can enjoy with their friends
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
activities that are needed economic support.
In addition
,
teenagers
can learn and gain experiences in
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
show examples
lives.
Thus
, before their graduation, they have the opinion that the setting of
jobs
.
On the other hand
, sometimes
teenagers
cannot study their lessons due to part-
time
jobs
so their academic life can be affected negatively.
Furthermore
,
teenagers
may not spend their
time
with friends because of a lack of
time
.
This
situation is followed by they cannot socialize.
However
, it is evident that
teenagers
have to meet friends and communicate with each other for their development. In a nutshell, it is seen that having part-
time
jobs
affect
teenagers
' lives not only positively but
also
adversely.
However
, its beneficial sides are more available than drawbacks.
Therefore
,
students
should work in a part-
time
job, but they consider planning their
time
effectively.
Submitted by merttufan197 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: