IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowdays some copanies thing that the number of men and women employees should be equal. To what extent do you agree or diagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days some officers or workplaces believe that the number of male and female employees should be equal, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will state the reasoning for my view. The most compelling sense for holding to my view is that employment for armed forces and
women
Use synonyms
 ensures that
women
Use synonyms
 are rights or respected like the army and that there is no Discrimination between the two doing
this
Linking Words
 work so shows that
women
Use synonyms
 are not just made for the household courses but can work outside the home like gang because
women
Use synonyms
 can acquire skills just like servicemen. Another logic for my position is that if
women
Use synonyms
 are hired equally to men the Employment and poverty rates will be greatly reduced because some
women
Use synonyms
 themselves are the head of a family and provide living expenses for their family living so they need to work
also
Linking Words
 I believe that men have special Talents in some jobs that woman doesn't and vice versa Woman have some particular talents in some jobs that men don’t and if we could put
this
Linking Words
 too beside each other the consequences could be much better. The
last
Linking Words
 reason I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view is that employing
women
Use synonyms
 in the workplace Raises the foundation and quality of families because
women
Use synonyms
 don't have to do anything to manage their lives
such
Linking Words
 as prostitution. In a conclusion , I totally agree with the opinion that male and female employee equality and it can make any country prosper.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: