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Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

#people #money #weddings #birthdays #situation
These days, one of the controversial issues relates to some communities which hold expensive parties
such
 as weddings and birthdays. spending a plethora of cash on the arrangements The main cause of
this
 happening
as well as
 a few solutions will be discussed in
this
 essay. First of all, to open the deliberation, the main reason is a status symbol,
people
’s desire to show off
people
 like to spend an enormous amount for decoration, designing dresses, lighting
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc. just to show their lavish lifestyle through marriage and engagement ceremonies.
Moreover
, or ,
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
show examples
 these ceremonies and special events build memories for a lifetime celebrated once in a lifetime. and will be always remembered and
that is
 why
people
 want to hold it as luxuries as they can.
furthermore
, virtual platforms
such
 as social media lead the communities toward extravagance.
for
Capitalize word
For
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 instance, celebrities illustrate their expensive parties on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media and
people
 who find them role models will try their best to perform like them. There are a number of steps that can be taken to resolve
this
 problem. First of all,
people
 should be fully aware of spending priorities. Investing in television programs teaches
people
 if their financial conditions are not sound, there is a risk of them getting into debt. Educate the public to be more cautious.
On the other hand
, models should be created in virtual networks for
people
 who celebrate their special occasions less expensively and they feel happy at the same time.
This
 can change individuals’ mentality about spending a lot bringing them happiness. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light of the above discussion, celebrating occasions expensively does not benefit either individuals or society. Taking a few simple measures can help to mitigate
this
 issue.
Submitted by ghazaleraei on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion on the issue in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to improve coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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