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Band 4

Manu manufactured food and drinks products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#manu #food #drinks #products #level #sugar #health #people
Nowadays, there are various types of food and drinks that are famous to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 of all ages that
uses
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use
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high
Add an article
a high
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 level of sweets to enhance
the
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their
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 taste. But we do not care much about how problematic
this
 can be to our health
for
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in
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 the long run.
That is
 why I totally agree with the fact that to discourage
people
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 consuming
high
Replace the word
highly
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 sugary foods, we should impose
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sugary
products
. If we make sugary
products
 more expensive, it is possible to take away a large number of
people
 from consuming high sugary
products
. We all know that there is a tiny portion of
people
 in
this
 world who are rich. The middle
incomed
Correct your spelling
income
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 and the lower
incomed
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income
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people
consists
Correct subject-verb agreement
consist
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 the most of the population of
this
 world who actually do not go after expensive
products
. Their nature is to lead a minimalistic life. So, if we can increase the price out of their hand, we can make sure a large number of
people
 to keep healthy. In
this
 context, from my perspective, I can set an example from a recent situation that has kept
people
 from consuming
Coca Cola
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Coca-Cola
show examples
 as the price has been increased from 20tk to 25tk.
Lot
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A lot
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 of my friends are avoiding
to consume
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consuming
show examples
 less as it costs more. So, I think it is
Add an article
a straight-forward
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straight-forward
Correct your spelling
straightforward
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 initiative that can impact more. In conclusion, motivation works slowly and sometimes it is tough to motivate a large portion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 whereas imposing high
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 on sugary
products
 will be more effective.
Submitted by joyzafree on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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