Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that these days

many

Punctuation problem

, many

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parents

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

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more time at work than their children, and the result is

social

Correct word choice

that social

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problems among youth increase. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement

Punctuation problem

show examples

analyzing

Change the spelling

Analysing

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the bad influences of the environment and the negative impacts of technology will prove

this

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Firstly

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although

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attention from parents is one of the most important things that shape our children's behaviour, the surroundings can give bad influences that can lead to social issues among juveniles.

For instance

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, many youths from poor environments in Indonesia commit crimes

such

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as robbery because their friends in their surroundings do the same in order to survive.

Therefore

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, it can be clearly seen that friends and people in the surrounding can drive minors to commit a crime.

Secondly

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, many youths were exposed to bad influences from technology.

For example

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, many juveniles can easily access porn websites on the internet, which leads them to commit sexual harassment.

Furthermore

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, on the deep web using

TOR

Correct article usage

the TOR

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browser, minors can easily find and buy drugs. These kinds of

internet

Check wording

apply

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websites can

give

Verb problem

have

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bad effects on juveniles and can increase social issues among youngsters. The internet is one of the sources of increasing social issues among youth. In conclusion, lack of parental attention is not solely the cause of increasing social problems in teenagers.

However

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, the surroundings and technology can

give

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have

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a bad impact on teenagers.

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Fix capitalization

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is clear that the statement of an increase in social problems involving youngsters because parents spend more time at work and less with their children can not be supported.

dzackyhabibi

Dec 12, 2022

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task

Be clear on your view at the start and keep it for all paragraphs.

task

Add more strong, real examples that are closely linked to your point.

coherence

In each body paragraph, give one main idea with a short, clear example.

coherence

Use topic sentences to show the main idea of each paragraph.

coherence

Use simple linking words to show the order of ideas (First, Next, Also, Finally).

task

Your stance against the claim is clear.

coherence

You provide more than one reason for your view.

coherence

You try to use examples to back up your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

258 words

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Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree?

Many companies sponsor sports to advertise their products or service. What advantages and disadvantages does this bring for the teams and individuals that these companies sponsor?

Some people think that people should choose their job based on income in order to provide security for their family. Do you think money is an important factor when choosing a job? What other factors should be considered?

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that,in today’s world subjects like science and technology are more important than history.

Some people think schools should only teach academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.