It is considered, that one of the best instruments to create a bond between people of varies nations or age ranges is music. I completely agree with this statement and think that music can create a connection between people despite their differents.

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It is considered, that one of the best instruments to create a bond between
people
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of
varies
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various
show examples
nations or age ranges is
music
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. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and think that
music
Use synonyms
can create a connection between
people
Use synonyms
despite their
differents
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different
show examples
.
Firstly
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, from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancient
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
music
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has been a universal
language
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of human beings and helped them to understand each other's emotions. It is lucid that presumably, each nation on the earth has it is own
language
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and culture which makes the interaction between countries quite hard because of misunderstandings among
people
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. But, what if we had a universal
language
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capable of carrying our intentions without words, would we be able to solve
this
Linking Words
misunderstanding?
Music
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as a form of art that contains the feelings of its author can touch
people
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’s hearts without any need for human
language
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.
For example
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, I use to listen to
one
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apply
show examples
quite popular German
music
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groups
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group
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without knowing any words in
this
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language
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but still, I was able to understand the pain and sadness that
this
Linking Words
music
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consists of. There for
this
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leads me to the conclusion that
music
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can be used, as
language
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on an emotional level and create a bond between individuals.
Secondly
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, we can not deny
music
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’s huge impact
in
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on
show examples
a subculture which
at
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in
show examples
the end is the main reason that
music
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can create a connection between the old and young
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
. We have been told that good
music
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never gets old. Songs of different time periods contain attributes of these times which helps us understand
values
Correct article usage
the values
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and emotions of our ancestors.
For example
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, traditional
music
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is
the
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apply
show examples
one of the main sources of information when anthropologists try to learn
traditions
Correct article usage
the traditions
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of indigenous
people
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. If we can understand
lifestyle
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the lifestyle
show examples
of
people
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that lived 4 or 5 hundred years before us just with the help of folk songs, we
also
Linking Words
can save
hallmarks
Correct article usage
the hallmarks
show examples
of our period in our
music
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. It is
perfect
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a perfect
the perfect
show examples
example of
music
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creating
connection
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a connection
show examples
between
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
and sometimes centuries.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end, I claim that
music
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is not just a form of art or entertainment but
also
Linking Words
an instrument that helps us understand each
others
Change to a genitive case
other's
show examples
emotions and values.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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