IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people say that now we can see films on our phone or tablets,there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both views and your opinions.

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With the
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology ,more and more people choose to watch movies by using their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 or
tablets
Use synonyms
,they think there is no need that
watch
Change the verb form
watches
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 in the
cinema
Use synonyms
.But another part of people
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
 that
to watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 is fully enjoyed .I think that
watch
Replace the word
watching
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 should
in
Add a missing verb
be in
show examples
 the
cinema
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
，it is true that
watch
Replace the word
watching
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 on our
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 or
tablets
Use synonyms
 sometimes can save money or save time.
For example
Linking Words
 ,we do not need to go to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 ,we can watch
films
Use synonyms
 anytime at our home.But
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 can have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 comfortable experience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the
cinema
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big screen and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfortable seats,we can
also
Linking Words
 buy some popcorn in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 before the movie
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
，we can watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new movies in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 when it
first
Linking Words
show
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
,
we
Correct word choice
but we
show examples
 can not watch the new movie on our
phones
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,we can watch
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
3D movie in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 and we can not watch it on our
phone s
Correct your spelling
phones
show examples
 or
tablets
Use synonyms
,it will have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 in different ways.
For example
Linking Words
,we
we
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
watch some 3D movies,we can have
visual
Correct article usage
a visual
show examples
 impact when
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
watch
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the
cinema
Use synonyms
,but we can not see that effect
but
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 using
phones
Use synonyms
 to watch
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In conclusion,
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 have different effects and experience and feeling from
watch
Replace the word
watching
show examples
films
Use synonyms
 by using
phones
Use synonyms
 or
tablets
Use synonyms
 .
Wacth
Correct your spelling
Watch
films
Use synonyms
 in the
cinema
Use synonyms
 should not be replaced by using
phones
Use synonyms
 to watch
films
Use synonyms
. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 deem that watch there
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 to go to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 to watch
films
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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