IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays almost every student who graduates from high school tries to attend college or university. Why do you think people attend college or university?

#student #graduates #school #college #university #people
At the present
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 almost every student who graduates from lofty school tries to attend
college
 or
university
. In my opinion, every student goes to
college
 or
university
. Because they have to get
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 and
work
 after graduation. I will put my thoughts into words in the forthcoming paragraphs. Every year many students in
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 world attend
college
 or
university
. There are different reasons
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
. All of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 people try to develop themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
. But I do not think that the time spent in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
 is lost time. Some people go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
 because they like to learn. Usually
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 students continuos their education and win awards in
sciens
Correct your spelling
science
. They have a good
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
 to express
a good learning possibilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
good learning possibilities
a good learning possibility
show examples
. Nowadays, it is easy for people with fluency to find a job. In my opinion, everyone should go to school,
college
,
university
Correct word choice
and university
show examples
. Because their life will be better if everything is fine. If they do not go to
college
 or
university
 it is very difficult to
work
 there. You
also
 need to read to
work
. A person who does not flow now cannot
work
. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, English teachers cannot
work
. Because they cannot
work
 without certification. All teachers must be
certification
Replace the word
certified
show examples
. Only
then
 it will be easy for them to find a job.
That is
 why you need to go to
college
 or
university
. You need to learn more. In conclusion, all students need to go to
college
 or
university
, because they need to study in order to
work
.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!