MORE AND MORE PEPLE TODAY ARE VISITING EXTREME PLACES SUCH AS ANTARCTICA OR THE SAHARA DESERT. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF SUCH TRAVES?

#peple #places #antarctica #sahara #desert #traves

Nowadays, every human-beings like to explore

such

places

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

weather

Correct article usage

the weather

show examples

is quite different from their surroundings.

Also

, visiting some

places

like, Antarctica or the Sahara Desert has

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own benefits and drawbacks too. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

as well as negative sides of visiting

such

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

places

The

Correct article usage

First

show examples

first

and foremost, by visiting extreme

places

, each and every individual can explore different nature and

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

as well. It

also

helps to boost their knowledge about

such

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

places

Moreover

, they can learn how to survive in different

weather

For instance

, every year, more and more people like to visit some cold

places

Change preposition

show examples

their weekends because they want to know more about that particular

places

Fix the agreement mistake

place

show examples

and by visiting these types of

places

, they can learn numerous things.

Furthermore

, by exploring those

places

, they meet different people who

also

from

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

Consequently

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can learn different languages.

As a result

, there are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ample

Change preposition

apply

show examples

benefits to

visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

such

travel.

On the other hand

, it has some downsides too.

For example

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

changed

Replace the word

changing

show examples

weather

can affect one’s health.

For instance

whose

Correct word choice

if whose

show examples

immune system is quite poor,

then

there will be

chances

Fix the agreement mistake

chance

show examples

to occur some

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

cold

Fix the agreement mistake

colds

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

those

Change the determiner

that

show examples

weather

is completely different so

Change the pronoun

its

show examples

not suits

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

everyone. Agglomerating all the above points elaborated, I would like to conclude that there is an ocean of benefits to

explore

Wrong verb form

exploring

show examples

extreme

places

like Antarctica or the Sahara Desert.

However

, it has some limited drawbacks

also

, but it has more advantages than downsides because it helps to grab

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge about

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on Mon Dec 12 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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MORE AND MORE PEPLE TODAY ARE VISITING EXTREME PLACES SUCH AS ANTARCTICA OR THE SAHARA DESERT. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF SUCH TRAVES?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Question: Traffic congestion in many cities in the world makes it difficult for people to get in and out of cities, and to move around inside them. Why do you think this is happening? What could be done to solve these problems?