IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

MORE AND MORE PEOPLE TODAY ARE VISITING EXTREME PLACES SUCH AS ANTARCTICA OR THE SAHARA DESERT. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OR DISADVANTAGES OF SUCH TRAVELS?

#people #places #antarctica #sahara #desert
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It is undeniable fact that nowadays a number of individuals love to explore and
visit
Use synonyms
 different
places
Use synonyms
 according to their taste.
However
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, visiting extreme
places
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 improves personal growth and travellers understand the different
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
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 and recreational activities
importance
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 and demerits
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the given statement. In
this
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modern-era
Correct your spelling
modern era
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, a number of foreigners travelling across the world and gain a lot of information about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 particular place. There are a number of advantages to
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visit
Change the verb form
visiting
show examples
 various tourist
places
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such
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 as
desert
Fix the agreement mistake
deserts
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, mountains, oceans and so on.
Firstly
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, people can easily improve
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
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about
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of
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 several languages and learn
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importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of several traditions, products, monuments and many more. To illustrate
this
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, nowadays foreigners
visit
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 different monuments, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 located in India and from
this
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 Indians easily communicate with them and decrease the understanding of linguistic issues and tourist guide person earn money, which is good for
an
Remove the article
apply
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employment
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employer
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also
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks
also
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.
Firstly
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,
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visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 different
places
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 is good to learn about the
location
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location's
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importance
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, but
somewhere
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in somewhere
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 it is harmful for the particular location and nation.
Secondly
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, people do not dump waste material in a proper dustbin and from
this
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 incident a particular place or any water bodies infected by different decease, which is very bad for ocean animals. Agglomerating all point above elaborated, I opine that there are more advantages as compare to disadvantages
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
visit
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 the several
places
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 is good to
be enjoy
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enjoy
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 the own time with family and friends.
However
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,
public
Add an article
the public
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 cannot understand the
importance
Use synonyms
 of oceans, deserts,
mountains
Correct word choice
and mountains
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 and they have to clean the place.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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