IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

What is your opinion about the advantages of smoking cigarettes?

#cigarettes
Based on my experiences
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
asking those people who
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
 to cigarettes, they said that smoking
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them a relaxing feeling,
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
 mind and even brighter ideas.
In addition
, by inhaling
a smoke
Remove the article
smoke
a cloud of smoke
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their lungs,
as if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they got a new life to live. I believe that it is the fact for the doers of smoking cigarettes,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will definitely get
these sensation
Change the determiner
this sensation
these sensations
show examples
 for a moment. These are the advantages that will give them a new way of life. Relaxation and
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
 mind are the two side
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 that I hear always from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smokers. They argued without
smoking
Add an article
a smoking
show examples
 will , they are not as
encouraging
Replace the word
encouraged
show examples
 as when they
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: