IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Music has accompanied humans for centuries. Not only is it a powerful tool of expression, but also it can convey certain ideas and feelings that unite people. Despite the fact that nowadays traditional music is often underestimated, I am of the opinion that both, international and traditional music should be appreciated equally.

#music #humans #centuries #tool #expression #feelings #people #fact
The pie chart illustrates the major factors that induced
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
show examples
 of the
land
 suitable for agriculture across the world. While the table describes their effects and the proportion of degraded
areas
 in three distant places
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world between 1990 and 1999. It is clear that over-grazing and destroying forests comprised the main causes of
land
 degradation in the world generally and in the three presented
areas
 in
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
 specifically.
Moreover
, Europe
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had the highest percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
total
land
 loss and North America had the lowest figures. As presented in the pie chart, 35% of
areas
 that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 used previously for cultivation
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 lost
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 raising farm animals.
Deforestation
 was the
second
 leading reason for losing
lands
 by 30%.
However
, 28 % of degraded
areas
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 for
over-cultivation
Correct article usage
the over-cultivation
show examples
 of certain crops. Additional causes for degradation had a percentage
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 10%.
Along
Change preposition
During
show examples
 the ten-year period, Europe lost 23% of their agriculturally convenient soil. It was the highest place to lose
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
deforestation
 and over-cultivation purposes by 9.8% and 7.7 respectively. Following Europe was the Oceania region by 13% and the significant reason was for grazing animals aggressively by 11.3% of their lost
land
.
However
,
deforestation
 was not a cause
to
Change preposition
of to
show examples
 degrade
lands
Change preposition
of lands
show examples
 there. In North America, the total degraded
areas
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 5% and they had the lowest figures in losing
lands
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
deforestation
 and overgrazing by 0.2% and 1.5% respectively.
Submitted by drahmedibrahim91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: