Many people think it is better for the students to have a part-time job while they are studying.

#people #students #job

Nowadays many students have a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

while they are studying. I believe that it is better for us as students to have a

job

for many reasons that I will show in

this

essay. To start with, having

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

will help you to manage your

time

For instance

, if you used to manage your

time

between work and study it will be easier for you in the future, to make it more clear, when you get married and have kids you will need to manage your

time

for both

sides

Moreover

, having

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

will make you gain a lot of skills and good experiences that you are in need

for

Change preposition

show examples

in the future

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if you start working now after graduation you will be ready for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

job

Although

everything in life has two

sides

. having

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

while studying may affect you on some

sides

such

as difficulties in having free

time

, you will not have enough

time

to hang out with your friends or your family. But again having a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

will help you in many ways.

Such

as you will have your own money so you will be able to pay for your courses without worrying about your family

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can pay for you or not. To sum up, having

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

is a good thing but you need to have a look at

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both

sides

before you go to apply for a

job

Submitted by zainab on Mon Dec 12 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

250 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think it is better for the students to have a part-time job while they are studying.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, a lot of people are able to do their work from home. Discuss both the advantage and disadvantages of this development.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages of renting a home? Should governments subsidies house prices for first home buyers?

Some children spend every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.