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Writing Samples /
Band 6

ın a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#ın #countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
It is observed that
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 some
people
 consider that a great amount of
money
 should be spent to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 railways, some other
people
 think that the budget ought to
Add a missing verb
be spent
show examples
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 on developing public transport systems.
This
 essay discusses both sides of
this
 argument and I will give my own perspective which is for spending on train lines. Those who are in favour of spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 railways bring up that it ensures faster and easier
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
.
In other words
,
people
 who use the new technology
railway
 systems can go easily
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 works places and houses. Another reason
this
Change preposition
for this
show examples
 phenomenon is that it provides more job and
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 opportunities. Namely,
people
 who use the fast trains may find easily new
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 and houses thanks to
this
 improvement.
For example
, in London,
railway
Add an article
the railway
show examples
 system is very expanded, so
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
migh
Correct your spelling
might
 have a large number of selections for their jobs and
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
accommodating
.
Therefore
, spending more
money
 to construct
railway
 lines seems reasonable based on the views of its supporters.
On the other hand
, those who support spending
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 public transport pose that it is
cheaper
Add an article
a cheaper
show examples
 method than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast train roads. The
second
 argument for
this
 idea is that public buses may reach anywhere more easily in the city.
As a result
 of these circumstances, even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 system is faster, most population choose the bus travelling.
For instance
, old
people
 generally select
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
buses travels
instead
 of
Correct article usage
the trains
show examples
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
 because it is cheaper and easy for them.
Hence
, these supporters consider that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
money
 should be spent to develop public transport systems. In conclusion,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 both views have merits, those opting to be for
incereasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 train lines are more reasonable to me, I believe that if we keep doing railways, it will be good for our society.
Submitted by orhanveli2006 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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